he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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