Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
