Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize
