So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
why is half of my head shaved?
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