She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
His nipple licking is glorious
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