Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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