i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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