There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
