her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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