so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
