conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Dick very happy bro
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Iβm going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize