No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
