Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize