I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
