Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
