She's JV to your varsity
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
