We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
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