Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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