We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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