from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
