maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
