Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
