The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
