can we get nightvision for the apartment?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
