So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
