Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Randomize
