I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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