i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
