Moan for me like Helen Keller
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
