Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
