Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
We have started to decorate penises.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
