I CAN MOONWALK!
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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