If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize