i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
be right there i have to get my cape
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
