dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
