i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
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