What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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