Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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