The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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