I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
