dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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