The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
