I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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