STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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