I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Randomize