In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
