i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
