I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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