Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
