I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
