Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
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