I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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