so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
