How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
