if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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