sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
