My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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